Do you know the feeling one gets when they look at a picture of a baby and they don’t remember that time for themselves, but they know they were happy then and they aren’t anymore?
I’ve been wandering around in stores
And looking at the pictures on the shelves and on the walls
And I see all these smiling faces
Smiling like I did at some point, I’m sure
But I don’t smile like that anymore
I don’t hardly smile at all, at anything, anymore.
I stare at the floor most of the time
But I’ve been trying to fix my posture
Cause it makes me unapproachable
“Stand up and be somebody!”
That’s what my family all say
But I don’t know how to tell them
I’m not somebody at all
Certainly not the person they remember
Smiling like the pictures on the wall.
Today I saw a picture of a baby
And I almost started crying
Cause I can’t remember being happy like that
And I don’t think I ever will
And I’ll never get that back
Despite the fact I wish I could
But there’s not really a point
In wishing impossible wishes like that anymore.
Ophelia Flowers (She/They) is a young, queer poet; from a small town near Raleigh, North Carolina. She is currently a junior in high school and enjoys music, poetry, and film. Outside of writing, she also plays bass guitar in a band called "I Hate Sports" and wastes away in bed while listening to bands like The Mountain Goats, Sadness, and Deftones. Her future aspirations are to one day be able to work as a writer and finally get out of small-town suburban hell.