a. it’s biting into a bitter piece of orange from the orange tree that you grew in your backyard with your little brother. it’s trying to tuck yourself into bed when your leg sticks out in the middle of the night and makes your whole body shiver. it’s mom making your favourite dish when you’re not hungry and you wishing she had made it when you were. it’s that one picture you identify wrong in an exam and lose 20 marks. it’s feeling the opposite of home. it’s thinking you’re useless and stupid even when you know you’re not.
b. but more than anything else, not performing well makes you doubt whether the pedestal on which you’ve made your dream sit on should really be that high. it makes you wonder whether your aim is just the moon that your ladder won’t be able to reach.
c. but if you stare at the puddle and just continue looking at the rippling reflection of the moon wishing that your marks turn out to be fake like the mirrored moon you’re gazing at, you should lower your pedestal.
d. but if you try watering the orange plant with your brother a little more often or switch off the air conditioner before falling asleep, maybe your ladder will lead you higher.
Samaira Mohunta is a 15 year old Indian writer studying in grade 11 at The Shri Ram School, Moulsari. Her notes app is a refined romanticisation of her feelings; writing helps reduce the magnitude of emotion she sometimes feels; it makes her happier. She runs a litmag called NovelNomenal. Her work has been published by Scholastic and is forthcoming in Filter Coffee Zine & the Gaia Lit magazine.