they say your body is a temple so respect it and treat it as if you are worshipping a god but they don't know that i would rather set bibles into flames than read them and weep
and i would rather take an axe to the carefully crafted stained glass than admire it from afar and marvel at the smaragdine and amaranthine and cerulean reflecting the glow of morning
because with every crack of rib and lurid mark on skin my eyes leak even more with the hope that instead of telling me to read scriptures and study stories that are crafted on a loom of untruth anyways you will soak up the tears shed at the foot of a throne that remains empty in the sky
so i curl up below the clouds willing them to part but knowing they never will except maybe to release torrents of liquid anger from the constellations above and wrap my fingers around my throat
swallowing tears and squeeze
and the only time i can look in a mirror without wanting to shatter it and melt the pieces with my acidic sobs is when i am barely recognizable to even myself
so maybe you should be trying to tear me away from my reflection because god only knows i can’t do it by myself
Jillian Thomas is a 15-year-old writer who has enjoyed reading and writing since the age of 3. At the beginning of 2021, they began writing poetry about mental health during the pandemic, and now write about queer identity, mental illness, and space, among other things. Their favorite book is Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng and one of their creative inspirations is Amanda Gorman. Their interests include biology, geometry proofs, and reading about current events. In their free time, they compete in speech and debate, run track, and do color guard.
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