i am sick
of cutting away pieces
of me that don't fit their mold
of sewing on fabric over patches that
are too ugly
or too honest
of placing two buttons over my cracked lips
binding them with thread
poking the needle through
the pink flesh
through which i've said too much
of me
i am sick
of peering into
my finger-stained mirror
see that new zit
that makes my face
not pretty
because now their eyes will snag
not in envy but in
disgust
of me
i am sick
of vomiting laughter
over their jokes
the ones that are not funny at all
and i am sick
of dribbling the same filthy words out
of my poisoned mouth
to hear them laugh
to hear them cheer
me
of me
oh i am sick
of slicing my flesh open
of wearing heavy bracelets over
my broken wrists
of wanting to
kiss them
kill them
be them
of fading into a self-made doll
coated in lipstick and pretty glitter
of me
i am sick
of saying "oh i don't care"
caring desperately stupidly uselessly
of having to bury
my living corpse under layers of dirt
over and over
and the buttons on my lips
fall out in my sleep
blood drips on my tongue
mine
fire rekindles
too hot too wild too red and bright
and just the way
i like it
this is
me
Tejal Doshi is an ambitious and dreamy 14-year-old living in India. Passionate about writing, she is always penning down ideas, stories, poems, and deep thoughts on random scraps of paper, or her very disorganized notepad. She enjoys reading, journaling, listening to music, procrastinating, daydreaming, obsessing over her newest interest, and procrastinating. Tejal has published a book called The Lost City and is a writer on Voice.club. As someone who wants to fight for the causes that are important to her, Tejal hopes to inspire and make a difference with her writing.